I didn't mean for it to happen

My portable phones were getting old and not working well, in MY opinion.  The hearing is NOT going.  It isn't...  The only sensible thing to do?  Buy new ones.  Alright.  So I have eight in my smaller home.  Correction.  Make that now nine.  Don't raise your eyebrow.  Have you ever been in the bathroom and had a phone ring?  So put that eyebrow down.  One can't have too much of a good thing.  Really.  Its all for the best.  Again I say, "trust me"....................marge

Oh dear!

So you didn't get your promised package from UPS on time.  "The sky is falling the sky is falling"!  You poor poor souls.  How could UPS be so heartless.  But wait, there may be a bright side.  You could sue them for  failing their part of the bargain.  Or was that the idea all along?  Did you wait until the last possible minute to send your extra cost package, hoping (of course) it wouldn't arrive on time as planned?  Did the box or envelope contain emergency medicine?  A legal document? (One always waits til the last minute to ship these two items).  How about an electronic toy or computer part.  Now these really are life threatening if not gotten on time.  If you can, sit back, take a deep breath and simmer down.  The sky hasn't fallen nor will it.  Really................marge

Sports Honorabelia

I enjoy watching pro sports games and I understand some chicanery is acceptable.  I find it offensive however, when a player on the home playing field actively encourages the crowd to blast the field with noise so the opposing quarterback's team can't hear their quarterback make his call.  Win by skill on the playing field, not by encouraging disruptive fans.  I was watching you, # 55.....................marge

They had to ask...

I recently was asked how thrilled I was to be a new great grandparent.  After pondering for three seconds, I replied "not too".  Now don't be upset. It's not like it sounds.  You must know that before this infant was born, my only impression of a great grandparent was of a senior citizen holding a baby on her lap for a picture saved for posterity and to be shown to said child in say 10 or 20 years.  I would be thrilled if someone, anyone, would ask me to depart any or all of my much stored up wisdom.  I've had it for so long it's getting rusty.   Don't misunderstand.  This is an adorable, bright (aren't they all?) smiley, happy infant.  When she comes over and in the door, there is a moment of pause while her little mind looks at me and runs through her memory bank. Ah yes.  I know this person and she's ok!  Then the big smile.  (Great for one's ego).  I do feel a little tricked though.  When I bend over (not an easy task) to pick her up, I was told she only weighs 19 lbs.  I've been picking up kids for many many years.  I know 38 lbs. when I lift it!  All in all, she's a real keeper as would be any child.  She just happens to be related!...........................marge

You've got it wrong

Maybe men shrink but nobody picks on them like they do women.  I didn't shrink intentionally.  It just happened and I'm still not sure its stopped.  On the bad side, our daughters like to stand next to us, put their chin on top of our head and pretend to hug us while they try to hide their giggling snickers.  On the good side, we get to ride in the front seat so we can see out the window.   In the grocery store, taller women offer to reach for us.  Men.  Well that's another matter.  If they can be found, they are more than willing, but they have to be asked.  Their light bulb, although bright, takes a tad longer to pop on, bless em................marge

At the risk of repeating myself, is it music or noise?

Do any of you younger ones have any idea who these people are, Perry Como, Andy Williams, Bing Crosby, the Velvet Frog, Anne Murray, Rosemary Clooney, Dinah Shore and many many more?  They were beautiful music makers, or more correctly, singers.  Now, when I turn on the 'singing contest shows', I am astounded.  I'm sorry but all I seem to see and hear are these people suffering in pain.  I'm convinced the male singers are passing kidney stones and the female singers in the last stages of childbirth.  I kid you not!  If there's something called 'Anguish Singers' they are it!  lordy lordy......................marge

I don't like you!

Such charm.  Such a warm lean forward smile.  You get me almost every time but only for a short while.  I'm learning, even at my later age.  Getting sucked in is hard to resist but resist everyone must!  For a split second, I'm the most wonderful, beautiful and especially likeable person in this world (room).   Ah.  How nice.  Cloud nine.  But wait!  I just saw you greeting someone else.  Oh dear.  Now THEY are the most wonderful, beautiful and especially likeable person in the world (room).  Alright.  Maybe its worth a few moments of self basking.  We'll  see.....................marge 

The dreams and the lots don't match

I, having come from a blue collar town growing up, now live in an 'affluent' smaller city in SE Mi.  New home construction is a good thing.  Where these homes are being built, deeply concerns me.  My area is not the 'affluent' one but the way things are changing it is becoming that.  The lots are about 50' wide or less.  Half million $ and up homes are being build on these lots.  Not all are bad, but I pity some of the families living next to some of them.  If you happen to be on the wrong side, your property, perhaps worth less now,  could well be blocked from a beautiful sunrise, sunset, or just plane sunshine a good  portion of the day.   A three story house next to a 1 1/2 story one borders on the ridiculous.  If one needs to cut corners, perhaps one isn't ready to build their dream home.  As to the smaller home, I hope they don't have larger vehicles that need to be put into their garages.  I've seen some pretty tight squeezes...............marge

Beware of statistics!

A while back I attended a public meeting.  A gentleman, to prove his point stood up and said,  "I circulated a petition in my neighborhood and the majority of homeowners agreed with me".  I needed more information so I stood and asked, "to how many homes  did you go"?   His reply, "four"...................marge

Stay home!

Don't be used by money hungry stores on this upcoming Thanksgiving Day.  I know its fun to go shopping on your day off, but not this one.  There are 363 or so other days to shop.  Let the employees have the day off too.  What you 'desperately' need can wait.  Honestly.  You will survive staying out of stores on this day.  All the 'Super Sales' will NOT disappear if you stay home!  They will get even bigger and better.  Then go shopping................marge

Draining Medicare?

I'm not sure who may be abusing Medicare.  Is it various companies TV ads who comes up with  gadgets/gismos that promise Seniors they will get/feel better if they use their products?  Is it the Dr. who writes a prescription for their Senior patient?  Or finally, is it the patients who convince their Dr. they really could use these products.  Somewhere, somehow, I strongly feel that once again, Medicare is being scammed, at the expense of our government agency and all seniors..............marge

Speaker of the house Boehner

Speaker of the House John Boehner.  To you and all members of Congress.  It appears many Senators and Congressmen ran for office not for the betterment of our country but for their own big egos.  They thrive on the attention and sense of importance they attach to themselves.  To them, its worth running this great country, our USA, into the ground.  Speak out and up.  Try, at any political costs to yourself,  to awaken any self decency they might possess.  Difficult?  Certainly.  Impossible?  Pray not...............................marge

Pumping breast milk at work.

A recent article on AOL spoke of a male coworker secretly taping a mother pumping breast milk at her desk.  Many suggested she should have gone to the 'bathroom' to do it.  This is clean, sanitary milk to be fed to a tiny infant and you want it pumped in  the communal toilets  area?   May I Then ask a question of all of you?   Every day of every week, would YOU eat your lunch in a restroom??.............marge

Faithful Detroit Tigers follower, BUT...

The commercials they slip in between innings need a change.  The young, descent looking ladies holding a bat is getting boring.  How about middle aged (or slightly above) being 'bat holders'?  I would qualify and a little more variety wouldn't be all bad.  Raquel Welch I'm not (how many are)?  Alright, so I look more like Lon Chaney Jr.  Really, variety is a good thing and I fit that category, I swear.........................marge

Danger danger Will Robinson!

It would seem that some or all new garden hoses have permanent labels that read as follows.  'Not for drinking water'.  Garden hoses are for gardens, right?  If they're not safe to drink from, are they safe to use for the vegetables and fruit (grape vines) we grow in our yards?  Are we contaminating the foods we plan on consuming?  From where and whom do we get answers?  We need to know.  The sooner, the better.........................marge....PS.  One of the items we should be concerned about in these new hoses, appears to be lead.

The fall of Detroit. Don't blame it on the auto workers

I didn't go to college and study the rise and fall of urbanism.  What I've observed though, over the years, is the following and I'm not talking about all Detroit business people and school employees/managers.  A few, it doesn't take many, apparently have been skimming and robbing Detroit for decades.  These two entities have been self destructing the system for many years with seemingly no one noticing (really?) or doing anything about it.  Integrity is becoming a word with no meaning.  Its everyone for themselves.  I think they call it 'Detroit, as usual'............marge

Boston Fern follow up.

For those breathlessly awaiting a report on the 'repotted' Boston Fern.  It has taken a couple of days but it's finally showing signs of overcoming the traumatization of its transplant.  I'm asked about my fantastic ability to raise, not one, but two fern  plants.  The second one's fronds are reaching over two feet in length.  Someone asked what was my watering timetable.  My answer:  I stick my finger in the dirt and if it comes out clean and mostly dry, I water them.  My daughter, the Master Gardener, shakes her head and sighs BUT, is beginning to believe in my (honestly, I really think so) intuitive method of Fern nurturing.  I admit however, I'm about to throw away my old videos of 'The Body Snatchers' and 'The Day of the Triffids'.  It getting a little too scary around here, the ferns just keep getting bigger and BIGGER!................marge

George Zimmerman

The NRA must be proud of itself about now.  George Zimmerman has a record of assaulting a police officer and being charged with domestic violence and he still got to carry a sidearm??  The fact he wouldn't listen to a police dispatcher telling him to not go after the young man, more than once, is hardly worth mentioning, is it?  And yes, that IS sarcasm...............marge

They won't let me watch

In my living room, which is '17 x '11 1/2 ft., there are two thriving Boston Ferns.  The smaller one, on a just over three ft. stand, has several, over two feet tall fronds ready to tip downward, making yet another new layer of fronds.  The lowest 'leaf' is less than two feet from touching the floor.  My bigger, original fern, sits on a five ft. ladder.  I bought this once small plant at half price several years ago and nurtured it to where it is today.  Its lowest frond, is just over a foot from reaching the floor.  It has been repotted before and is now ready for yet another, larger pot.  Herein lies the problem.  My daughter, in addition to being a welder ( I have one nine and one four foot giraffe in my back yard ) is also a Master Gardener.  She and her husband are going to take my 'baby' out of its home for the past couple of years and be putting it into a bigger 'home' (pot).  I think I should be ever so present to safely guide them in this delicate transfer process.  In other words, 'supervise them'.  And why not I ask?  Never ask.  One doesn't like to discover one is considered ( politely of course ) an, 'untrained meddler and this room isn't big enough for the three of us mom'!  I'll keep you posted..............marge

Dead and beautiful?

I, as you probably know am not into makeup.  I am what I am and redder lips and cheeks and longer eye lashes AND whatever, aren't going to do it for me.  Now comes the real question.  Why is it so important to look good in a casket?  Will it make YOU feel better?  Granted, it will give you the chance to say, "My, doesn't she/he look good".  Oh how many times I've heard that over the years.  But honestly, three days after burial, will it really really matter?  What matters is, my children want to bury me in a tutu (I can't remember why) and fill the casket with vinegar (I once, when they were younger, went on a 'vinegar in your diet is good for you!' phase) and a few Bingo cards.  The Bingo cards to show I didn't use my brain power to its fullest.  If you get to the wake first, PLEASE, close the casket and quickly spray the room with air freshener!  I thank you....................marge

You can't fool me!

One of my children told me to go stand in the middle of the intersection  by my house, after dark tonight, May 26, 2013 and look  up into the sky for several minutes.  Stay there until I saw a rare gathering of three planets.  I know Tom foolery and a cockamammy story when I hear it.   I wasn't born yesterday.  I'm no dummy.    The question then becomes, should I leave her in the will?.......................marge

Why can't we......

The world is a genius at making and using scientific methods to achieve a multitude of unbelievable accomplishments from cars to outer space.  Why then, can't these same people invent, develop, a simple instrument to identify, from a safe distance, roadside bombs in war zones.  Comparatively speaking, it would seem like a simple task......................marge

Its already too late.

I was next to a middle aged, t shirted, blue jeaned motorcyclist on the road the other day.  I wanted to yell at him and tell him he could get injured, especially brain damage plus all else for not wearing a helmet and some type of protective clothing.  I didn't.  It was too late.  Somewhere along the line, he'd already been brain damaged.................marge

You tell me

When you hear the following three words, carcass, remains and body, what comes to mind?  Does 'dead' ring a bell?  Why then do reporters and others when talking about someone deceased, always say 'dead body'?  There's no dead 'carcass' or dead 'remains', so why 'dead' body?............marge

Fool me once........

To all you 'losers' and 'foolers' out there.   Truth slowly erodes any remnants of trust I've had in you.  You are a sad lot.  You've lasted longer than you should because of us, your 'enablers'.  Slowly what you are, sinks in but sadly ignored by immediate relatives who seem to continue to support you at any cost to others.  The rest of us learn but just not fast enough.  You are creatively smooth.  Worst of all, you take the good people around you down and they don't deserve that.  You've spent your young life learning to manipulate others.  There may be little hope for you.  I liked you.  I really did.  You have no future the way you are.  I ask again, stop hurting those nearest to you.  I would say nearest and dearest but I'm not sure you would comprehend that.  Sad sad sad........marge

Gun chips?

If the animals we love can get chips inserted into them so we can find them, then why not 'chips' for guns, rifles, assault weapons etc.  This in addition to background checks for those who purchase these products.  If these guns are used in the commission of a crime, it would make sense it wouldn't be the one who registered them,  just a good way to perhaps follow the path of the perps and stolen weapons.................marge

My wake, according to marge

Before I die, I want to have a pre-wake.  I want all my friends (alright, just about anyone I can get, but screening will be required) to  speak at said 'wake'.   I  only want to hear good, uplifting  words about all my kindnesses, generosity, comfort to others and intelligence.  Anyone not able to do this need not apply.  I would do the same for you.  Honest......................marge

The real leading cause of death....

Unplanned, certainly unwanted and never expected.  Death or near death by stupidity.  We've all been there.  Three seconds one way or another, or I'll just do it this one time (taking an unsafe shortcut) nothing bad will happen. It does though.  You and I are still here.  We promise never to do such a stupid thing again.  Have we really learned?  I keep hoping!...............marge

Aprons or fishing poles etc.

In the past century, when I was growing up, the males were in their category and we females were in ours.  For whatever reason, I fell into the fishing pole one.  I am SO grateful!  Before I was a teenager, I walked through corn fields with the 'men' hunters carrying a loaded rifle.  Alright.  The safety was on.  I wandered through and visited with the mechanics at my dad's dealership on a regular basis.  So as a result, I more or less prefer talking to men.  Sitting around talking to (yawn) sorry, women,  doesn't always  (memories hang on) cut it for me.  So to all you women out there who might think I'm cuddling up to your husband, think again, I'm not, for real.  And yes to you doubting Thomases,  I can cook.  My children's most favorite supper (dinner)  came on one of the hottest evenings of the year.  They still remember.  I served Tin Roof Sundaes.  Seemed reasonable to me.  And if you're not sure about Tin Roof, look it up.................marge

Bugs Bunny

Growing up we watched for years what I now believe to be totally narcissistic behavior.  Oh what we weren't trained to see.  There were probably many more popular cartoon characters of his ilk.  Does anyone ever remember Bug Bunny doing anything that wasn't self serving?..............marge

Should I, could I would I.

I'd like to write a book.  If Sarah Palin can, perhaps I can too.  Things I've found out on the way to my blog.  Putting the word 'sex' in the label section will get more readers.  Now to see if it will work two times.  But I digress.   MY Christmas story (perhaps not a 'book'). will be about my 'Charlie Brown Christmas Tree'.  It won't have pretty lights on it but there will be a small spotlight for after dark.  It brings out the Christmas spirit in me.  It proclaims that size or number of ornaments are of little consequence.  I don't even have to keep looking at it.  I can close my eyes, see AND feel its beauty.  It is everything I want it to be.  No limitations and the wondrous feelings are endless.  The best part of a 'Charlie Brown Tree' is that anyone can get one and I heartily recommend you do.........marge

Why?

I've been watching the Spanx  ads on my computer.  I'm not sure how these wonderful body shaping underwears are a help to the 'average' person.  So far, every model appears to be a 'perfect 10'.  It would seem, they are definitely not in need of this product.  So why not use some of us 'averagers' to promote Spanx?  Would that make a fantastic selling point?  "Hey you 'averagers', want to look like a 'perfect 10'  Here's your chance..............marge

Boredom. Be grateful. Life could be worse.

I don't like being bored.  Its my fault if I am.  I get into trouble.  I see everyone's faults.  I not having any goes without saying.  How about our local radio and TV announcers.  Port Huron sounds like Porch Huron.  'i'psilanti  comes across as "yip'silanti.  The last I've probably spoken of before.  Traffic people saying take an 'alternate'.  I'm not great at english but I don't think a sentence should end sounding incomplete.  I think they're afraid to say 'route', not to be confused with 'rout', as not in 'Route 66'.  I'm sure I'll think of more later.  The day isn't over yet............marge

Emergency foods

My goal in life it would seem, is to see how long I can keep fruits, vegetables and milk before I have to throw them out.  The potatoes are getting eyes but I think they'll be okay for awhile.  With the approaching snow storm, I'm starting fresh, except for the milk.  It has a few days to go before expiration.  The essentials are in.  I have cheese dip ( with fresh vegetables of course),  a little white bread, just a little, Rainbow potato chips, frozen Burger King hamburgers and chocolate- peanut butter cookies.  The healthiest of course, $15 of DARK CHOCOLATE non pareils.  And yes I will share but not too much on the last item................marge

Fruit fly addendum

Although still sad about the demise of my pet fruit fly, I now have uplifting news.  While sitting in the living room, my daughter discovered a, 'sibling'? fruit fly hovering about the coffee table.  I can't tell you how happy I feel.  I will be much more careful with my coffee cup hereafter.  Now if you'll excuse me, I must, before it turns brown, finish my banana..................marge

So sad

I was discussing reasons with my children as to why I shouldn't get a pet at my age.  A short time later, I discovered a fruit fly in the kitchen.  When I went to the computer in the next room, it followed me.  Hence, my new found pet!  As I slowly sipped the last of the coffee from my cup, I looked inside.  Alas.  I no longer have my pet fruit fly....................marge

Racketeers/oops, marketeers

I didn't go to college and take marketing courses but I know when big companies are trying to hornswoggle me.   Lets talk Cable companies today.  The stakes are again raised.  The medium level has been downgraded to lowest level.  If I want a favorite channel back, that was removed from my level, I must upgrade to  tier three.  Of course it will cost more.  Sorry.  I won't do it.  I think cable should pay ME for all the 12 year old reruns and infommercials that are on weekends.  What a waste of anyone's time.  Whatever 'bargain' you offer, it isn't.  It's just more 'crap' pardon the expression, for more money..............marge

No. I never played football.

I enjoy watching the game of football.  I don't understand all the rules,  plays and positions,  but I know enough to understand many plays and the goal of the game.  What I don't understand though, is why a player would go into a game with a large knee brace on and perhaps more importantly, why his coach would not only allow it, but seemingly encourage it?  Do they not understand this is NOT a good thing?  Not only would he not play as well but odds of re-injury are, I assume greatly increased.  If this coach is paid for his expertise and good judgement, is he and I'm  assuming here, overpaid?............marge    P.S.  AND...I've been told the player needed permission from the team doctor and  got it.  YES.  He did re-injure his knee and apparently IS facing surgery.............marge