Thursday, June 4, 2015
Sexual assault victims
Don't blame little children if they are molested by someone they have no reason not to trust. And don't think they forget, even if decades go by. They don't. They didn't know what it was, or why it was happening to them. They just know they didn't like it or want it. Most importantly, they didn't know how to say "no" or "stop". It doesn't occur to them to tell a parent or guardian. How do you 'tell' what you don't understand, even as it is happening? Too much is expected from little ones. Too much too much. It becomes a dark dark secret carried in the heart most likely forever. Forgiveness does comes but the burden of carrying these memories takes an immeasurable unconscious toll. I don't pretend to have an answer for the 'Nineteen and counting family' but please, put the victims, all of them, first. No excuses..............................marge
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Those poor children. Their parents allowed the son to stay in the home with the victims. They knew about their son and encouraged secrecy. I agree, children don't how to talk about it, what is going on, and the memories can haunt them forever. The same trauma happens to children who witness violence and rape. The same trauma happens to adult women who are raped. It's horrible when victims are not believed. Victims are brave to come forward and brave to protect family members who are or could be victims. Adults who encourage silence or who refuse to believe victims are evil souls who should not sleep peacefully, but who should remember what cruelty they are piling on women and children who have already endured so much. Think about children who loved and trusted adults, but the adults wouldn't believe them. Children know. Children remember. They become adults who remember.
ReplyDeleteListen to this! As a young child, my mother would force me to visit an elderly bed-ridden man who lived across the street and a few houses down. I begged not to go. My mother forced me. The old man would stick his hands down my pants and it was horrible. My mother either didn't care or was too busy visiting the old woman. My mother didn't listen to me and basically she allowed this to happen to me. I begged her not to go. I wonder how my mother would feel about that now.
ReplyDeleteGreat topic. So many victims aren't believed or people just don't want to believe. Imagine the double betrayal a child feels when first they experience or witness sexual assault, and then they aren't believed.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the responses. The more, the better.
ReplyDeleteI agree! Without comments, without the author responding, without back-and-forth dialogue, you have just another Kaczynski's "Manifesto".
ReplyDelete