My new job THE TIME WASTER LTD

I've spent most of the day wasting time.  I do that a lot.  I did however, buy my grandson an 'only child' card.  Is he? No, but his big sister did run off to her first year at college leaving him 'alone'.  Getting back to my new job, or career as I prefer to think of it.  I've decided to 'waste time' and get paid to do so.  I won't charge much so more 'time wasters' can afford to use my service.  It will be simple.  Just forward a list to me  of things you didn't get done.  Can it be much simpler than that?  I don't think so.  That's all you have to do.  I will take care of the rest.  Now and this is an important now, don't misunderstand.  I'm not going to do anything of the things you put off doing, that's not what you're paying me for.  I'll explain.  Once you've assigned your 'wasted time' to me, its all on my shoulders.  You will have no more worries.  Now, if anyone asks you what you did today, you may reply with a clear conscience, "Everything I set out to accomplish, I did".  And that's the truth.  Any unaccomplishments are on my shoulders.  Rest easy.  You're home free and with a clear conscience..............marge