I hate your hair.

I watch a lot of baseball, football and some hockey.  Not a lot of the other sports.  If I could, I would sneak into these player's locker rooms with scissors and electric razor in hand.  I've about reached my breaking point.  This stubble crap sexy?  No.  Old time hunters used to come out of the woods after a few days looking like that and that's what you remind me of.  Then there's the really curly, longer hair sticking out from their caps and almost making the hats pop off.  These are followed by a couple more complaints.  Wavy hair past the shoulders getting in the way of seeing what you're doing.  Now for the (to be polite, I'll call them beards).  I'm amazed you don't show up ready to play with food of assorted colors mixed in the hair.  I'm waiting and I do expect it to happen, for a small bird or similar in size animal to pop its head out as the game begins.  I haven't figured out why you're doing this as yet.  Do you think you're sexy or attractive?  Think again.  Is it a form of rebellion? probably not.  Maybe then, just maybe, because it's too much trouble  to go to a hairdresser or barber.  If you're a pro player, it's certainly not the cost.  You'll have to help me  on this one.  I'm lost for answers......................marge  PS.  I did enjoy Mark the Bird Fidrych of many years ago but he's the only exception.