I didn't mean for it to happen

My portable phones were getting old and not working well, in MY opinion.  The hearing is NOT going.  It isn't...  The only sensible thing to do?  Buy new ones.  Alright.  So I have eight in my smaller home.  Correction.  Make that now nine.  Don't raise your eyebrow.  Have you ever been in the bathroom and had a phone ring?  So put that eyebrow down.  One can't have too much of a good thing.  Really.  Its all for the best.  Again I say, "trust me"....................marge

Oh dear!

So you didn't get your promised package from UPS on time.  "The sky is falling the sky is falling"!  You poor poor souls.  How could UPS be so heartless.  But wait, there may be a bright side.  You could sue them for  failing their part of the bargain.  Or was that the idea all along?  Did you wait until the last possible minute to send your extra cost package, hoping (of course) it wouldn't arrive on time as planned?  Did the box or envelope contain emergency medicine?  A legal document? (One always waits til the last minute to ship these two items).  How about an electronic toy or computer part.  Now these really are life threatening if not gotten on time.  If you can, sit back, take a deep breath and simmer down.  The sky hasn't fallen nor will it.  Really................marge

Sports Honorabelia

I enjoy watching pro sports games and I understand some chicanery is acceptable.  I find it offensive however, when a player on the home playing field actively encourages the crowd to blast the field with noise so the opposing quarterback's team can't hear their quarterback make his call.  Win by skill on the playing field, not by encouraging disruptive fans.  I was watching you, # 55.....................marge

They had to ask...

I recently was asked how thrilled I was to be a new great grandparent.  After pondering for three seconds, I replied "not too".  Now don't be upset. It's not like it sounds.  You must know that before this infant was born, my only impression of a great grandparent was of a senior citizen holding a baby on her lap for a picture saved for posterity and to be shown to said child in say 10 or 20 years.  I would be thrilled if someone, anyone, would ask me to depart any or all of my much stored up wisdom.  I've had it for so long it's getting rusty.   Don't misunderstand.  This is an adorable, bright (aren't they all?) smiley, happy infant.  When she comes over and in the door, there is a moment of pause while her little mind looks at me and runs through her memory bank. Ah yes.  I know this person and she's ok!  Then the big smile.  (Great for one's ego).  I do feel a little tricked though.  When I bend over (not an easy task) to pick her up, I was told she only weighs 19 lbs.  I've been picking up kids for many many years.  I know 38 lbs. when I lift it!  All in all, she's a real keeper as would be any child.  She just happens to be related!...........................marge

You've got it wrong

Maybe men shrink but nobody picks on them like they do women.  I didn't shrink intentionally.  It just happened and I'm still not sure its stopped.  On the bad side, our daughters like to stand next to us, put their chin on top of our head and pretend to hug us while they try to hide their giggling snickers.  On the good side, we get to ride in the front seat so we can see out the window.   In the grocery store, taller women offer to reach for us.  Men.  Well that's another matter.  If they can be found, they are more than willing, but they have to be asked.  Their light bulb, although bright, takes a tad longer to pop on, bless em................marge

At the risk of repeating myself, is it music or noise?

Do any of you younger ones have any idea who these people are, Perry Como, Andy Williams, Bing Crosby, the Velvet Frog, Anne Murray, Rosemary Clooney, Dinah Shore and many many more?  They were beautiful music makers, or more correctly, singers.  Now, when I turn on the 'singing contest shows', I am astounded.  I'm sorry but all I seem to see and hear are these people suffering in pain.  I'm convinced the male singers are passing kidney stones and the female singers in the last stages of childbirth.  I kid you not!  If there's something called 'Anguish Singers' they are it!  lordy lordy......................marge

I don't like you!

Such charm.  Such a warm lean forward smile.  You get me almost every time but only for a short while.  I'm learning, even at my later age.  Getting sucked in is hard to resist but resist everyone must!  For a split second, I'm the most wonderful, beautiful and especially likeable person in this world (room).   Ah.  How nice.  Cloud nine.  But wait!  I just saw you greeting someone else.  Oh dear.  Now THEY are the most wonderful, beautiful and especially likeable person in the world (room).  Alright.  Maybe its worth a few moments of self basking.  We'll  see.....................marge 

The dreams and the lots don't match

I, having come from a blue collar town growing up, now live in an 'affluent' smaller city in SE Mi.  New home construction is a good thing.  Where these homes are being built, deeply concerns me.  My area is not the 'affluent' one but the way things are changing it is becoming that.  The lots are about 50' wide or less.  Half million $ and up homes are being build on these lots.  Not all are bad, but I pity some of the families living next to some of them.  If you happen to be on the wrong side, your property, perhaps worth less now,  could well be blocked from a beautiful sunrise, sunset, or just plane sunshine a good  portion of the day.   A three story house next to a 1 1/2 story one borders on the ridiculous.  If one needs to cut corners, perhaps one isn't ready to build their dream home.  As to the smaller home, I hope they don't have larger vehicles that need to be put into their garages.  I've seen some pretty tight squeezes...............marge